I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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