I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
