If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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