look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
