Whoa Z and x make the same sound
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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