Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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