You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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