I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
