I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I want a musical about memes.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
