The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
