as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
