Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
