Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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