Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
