"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
