you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
