New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
