I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
