Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize