your thong is hanging out like whoa
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize