Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
