how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
