It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
