thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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