Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
