wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
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