Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
