Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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