is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
