when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Randomize
