idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
