Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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