sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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