I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
These tits shall not be calmed
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
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