she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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