What a fucking waste of an outfit
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
