We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
