doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
