yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize