That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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