3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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