how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
