My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize