Ambien. No doubt about it.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
