Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
