Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
