i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
