god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Randomize
