id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
