No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize