I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
