you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
