Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
