Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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