i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
