It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
