Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
