My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
So many bounce houses so little time
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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