She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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