last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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