Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize