the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
