You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
