Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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