haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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