Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
