did you get engaged???
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
