The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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