O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Couch. On fire.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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