did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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