My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
