TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
