if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
