i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
you made out with another girl for some wings
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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