I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
