Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
